It was fall for a couple weeks and now it’s moving quickly towards winter, cold days and cold wind and in the mornings it’s grey and the stairway, without heat, is freezing.
I read a science fiction crime novel for school. I fall asleep in mid morning after talking to S in California and I hear music playing through thready speakers. It takes a while to figure out it’s not real. It’s coming from inside my head. These are the kindest sorts of hallucinations. Gentle lullabies; a quiet radio. It lasts for two full songs and then I fall asleep. It doesn’t follow me there.
Last night I dreamt of heroin addictions, drug dealers climbing through windows, my cat weaving in and out of my legs.
This morning I put my hair up in curlers, wrapped it in a scarf, and went to the post office to mail a neat stack of Christmas cards. It was one thirty in the afternoon. The man in front of me was drunk. He swayed a constant, tight circle. The whole place stunk of alcohol. He couldn’t open his eyes all the way.
On Friday G and I went to the ballet. We saw Sleeping Beauty. I liked it until the last three or four minutes. I found them gratuitous, unnecessary. Afterwards we got a drink. It had started snowing.
Oh, really, G said, peering outside. Really?
Really, I said.
In two days my best friend and her husband arrive from Vermont. I buy beer and wine and clean the kitchen.
It is amazing, really, the mobility of coffee grinds.
They get everywhere.
I sweep them all into the trash. I make a table lamp out of old bottles and fairy lights.
I close the blinds to keep the heat in.
I wish I was someplace warmer.
photographs taken with a Canon t1i.
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